I want to share with you about the Judi that I knew: 'Judi was a Strong and Beautiful woman whom I was honored to know.' that is what I will write on the card with my condolences to be delivered with the flowers I send. But how do I fit all the rest of the story on that little card? Did Judi and I talk on the daily? No. Did we even talk on the phone? No. Most of our communication was in person while working on rescue stuff, or via email. It didn't matter how little or how much we talked, she always knew what was going on with the rescue and even with me. I never expected her emails, but they would come without fail, filled with kind words and encouragement at the times when I needed them most, but didn't even know it. I treasure her for that; I am so grateful for that. Judi made me feel special that she would single me out to let me know she cared. She told me in so many ways that she was there.

Most people will remember Judi's strength. Not a person who crossed her path could miss the inner strength of her convictions. They were laid out with a defiant confidence for all to see—A confidence that challenged anyone to speak up and question the foundation of her beliefs. She was just Judi—no pretenses and I admire her for that. Judi, always let you know where you stood with her, and what she thought and felt about a situation. I appreciate that. More than once it was that honesty that gave me fodder for self-improvement. I knew where I stood with Judi—she liked me, and I was honored by her approval and friendship. I watched her time and time again swiftly deal, firm, honest feedback kindly. A feat not easily accomplished. Most will say it's impossible to be firm, honest and kind all at the same time. I disagree. I've seen it done. I've received it from Judi. If we could only take that lesson and practice it every day in our lives, Judi would be proud. Judi would say the thing most people wouldn't, and we were better for it. I was better for it.

Judi had a confidence and self-assertiveness that was second only to her love of her animals - and they were all her babies. Every horse that came into our organization was her baby. She loved them all without fear, without apprehension and without restraint. Dare I say, that not an equine walked through the doors of the Quarantine Barn (QB) that did not know of Judi's devotion and love. She just loved them. Whether she gave a kind word, a sweet treat or a soft touch, the horses knew of her sincerity. Judi was an original Barn Diva and a self-proclaimed "Old" Chic. Although we could never quite agree with the "old" part, she was everywhere. She didn't slow down and never seemed to fit the term 'old'.

Judi was everywhere we needed her to be. She stepped up to every challenge with an intensity and conviction of purpose. She would meet every challenge with her 'watch me' attitude. "Judy you don't need to be loading hay" we would tell her. "Watch me!" She would answer. She contributed to every event, gathering, and task that she could, rather we thought she could/should to it or not. She was the only one who determined what and how much she would do. And when it came to the horses that "how much" seemed boundless. Her strength and dedication were immeasurable and priceless. She was a constant volunteer who gave her time, her guidance, her opinions, and mostly her love. Judi gave our volunteer family a stability and security in knowing she was always just a call or email away. Her uncanny ability to keep abreast of all the inner workings and actions within our group, truly demonstrated she had her finger on the pulse of our organization. Judi always had her ear to the wind for the slightest whisper of need from USERL or from the horses. She will be missed not only by us but by the horses. It makes me so sad that her mark will be missing from the horses that we have yet to save.

I was thinking the loss of her influence on our group and the unrealized loss of future USERL horses by not knowing Judi, when my mind drifted to the QB. My very active imagination got away with me and unexpectedly I found comfort. I asked myself what would Judi say to me if she was here right now and we were talking about my pain and my loss and my sadness. And clearly and surely I felt she was back with me, standing in the door of the QB, and I heard her talk to me in her no non-sense tone of voice. She told me perhaps what I needed to hear, but I believe there is the underlying truth and honesty from Judi in the words I heard in my mind. She put her arm lightly around my shoulders as she firmly guided me out of the barn into the day, and she said, "Now Angie, you know there's important stuff to do. Important work we have to do, you and me. Those horses aren't gonna feed themselves ya know. I know it's hard and I know it hurts but that's no excuse. Get to it. Get to it, girl. You have work to do."

As those words washed over me in her voice yet from my own imagination, I was comforted. I felt confidently that that is exactly how she would have responded to my tears. That would be her firm, honest, yet kind way of kicking me in the butt. She was just that way: Straightforward, firm and determined to do what needed to be done. I will remember her most for her kindness to me. For the firm guidance she gave to me with love. I will remember her devotion and determination to see this job through to the end. And so I am hopefully sharing with you the Judi that I knew. Yet, my job is not done; this email was made out of my selfish grief. The job Judi would have wanted me to do - is carry on what we love - rescue. I will honor her every time I go to the QB, every shift for which I sign up. I will carry on her mark on each rescue as I speak softly to the new rescues and love them as she would, without reserve. I know she would approve and she would be happy with me. I can hear her say "Atta girl" I believe she is happy I got the point.

Because Judi was a friend to USERL, and most importantly, my friend in ways I took for granted until she was gone, I will honor her. From now on, I will carry her voice in my head, her memory in my heart, and her dedicated conviction as my motivation. Thank you Judi, for everything, I will miss you and I will do my best to take care of your babies.

Love always,
Angie Wilson